It started innocent enough. An occasional risky thought, A desire to touch myself that I quickly dismissed. But then the thoughts grew more and more unsafe. Eventually the thoughts turned to action. I violated myself.
As an autosexual, I am in a unique position of not only being attracted to myself but also having to hold myself to account for inappropriate behaviour against myself within the community.
So when I inappropriately groped myself in the restroom at a slam poetry competition last fall, I knew I had to take action. If our justice system wasn’t broken then I would be in jail, but it is, so I chose another course of action.
The next day, I went to Dabney University’s Assault Resource Centre to file an official complaint about myself. I wanted my accuser to answer for xir actions, but I also wanted to express my truth that attending any class with my abuser would be unacceptable.
I was met with skepticism and dismissive attitudes by community leaders who claim to be progressive. To this day, Dabney University has refused to take action.
I write this to call out the institution that continues to allow my abuser walk free. I write this not for myself, but to call myself out for the sickening abuse I have inflicted on myself.
To my fellow autosexuals: Justice is coming. But the institutions have failed us. It’s up to us to never let us abuse us again.